Cafeteria Romance

Lisa saw him everyday during lunch time. She did not understand why but she kept waiting for him if she did not see him when she entered the cafeteria. He almost always came at the same time. He was tall, fair, lean and had very short hair. Lisa never really liked men with such short hair, yet this guy interested her. Perhaps his eyes were the reason of attraction. They seemed to hold her gaze every time she looked at him. Those eyes seemed to beckon her as if inviting her to be near.

Lisa wondered why this one guy was making an impression on her. She never thought of herself as the dating kind of girl. In fact, in her past, she had always fallen for the wrong kind of men. She had almost married the last person she had dated but she found out that he had been lying about himself. Though she had known Jake for about 2 years before they decided to get married, yet she never realized that he was not doing his post-grad as he claimed to, but he was a janitor in the university that he said he studied at. Lisa did not believe in class distinction but she was not willing to spend her whole life with someone who could lie about his qualification, and that too, for two long years. She lost trust in Jake.

Before Jake, she had a stint with someone from her neighbourhood but that relationship turned sour when she realized that this guy was cheating on her with her own flat mate. And, once Jake was out of her life, Lisa had promised herself she would not allow herself to repeat the mistakes of her past. So for past one year, she had been avoiding men until the cafeteria guy entered her life.

Lisa checked her thoughts but she could not control her gaze. She was looking at him for perhaps too long, because he was staring at her. She averted her eyes and waved at one of her friends approaching her. Lisa used to have lunch with two other girls from her department, Lily and Rosa.

As they say, you cannot hide love, so happened with Lisa. Very soon, not only her friends, but also the people who accompanied her object of attraction, also came to realize Lisa's interest in him. So began the first step towards dating. It was like a dream for Lisa, and even Lily and Rosa started enjoying her madness. They used to rush to the cafeteria when it was lunch time for the guy. They used to steal glances at him all the time . All their talks during lunch time revolved around this guy, who also reciprocated the similar craziness. Or perhaps, he was just enjoying the attention he was getting from three pretty ladies.

Lisa was getting impatient now; she wanted to talk to him but she did not want to make the first move. She did not trust herself anymore. She thought if she tried too hard, probably this relationship would also turn sour. So she waited for him to approach her, but he never did. Perhaps he was the shy kind of guy, or may be he was committed! Lisa did not want to think about this possibility but she knew there must be some reason why a guy getting all the right kind of signals was not trying to take a step further. But one day, the first step happened.

Lisa was supposed to meet someone in one of the buildings and she was asking the receptionist about this person. She saw from the corner of her eye, that the cafeteria guy was walking towards the lift. She wanted this lady at the reception to hurry up, but she was taking forever to find out where the person Lisa was supposed to meet sat! When Lisa finally walked towards the lift, she saw him holding it for her. He smiled at her and asked, "Coming?" Lisa was stunned, "Of course!" Later she thought to herself why she had said that! He would sense her excitement! When the lift doors closed, he looked at her and said, "Hi, I am Ned." "Hi, I am Lisa." "Any specific reason you came to this building. I have not seen you here before." "Yes, I want to meet Danielle in the Research department." "Oh, he sits right across me. Come, I will show you." As Lisa walked behind Ned, she wondered why this conversation felt so natural, as if she was talking to someone she had known for years. Even Ned was behaving like he had known her forever.

When Lisa was done with the meeting, she walked out of the building thinking how she would meet Ned again. But there he was, standing outside as if he had been waiting for her. She smiled at him and he smiled back. As she walked away, he called out to her, "Lisa, would you like to have coffee?" She was thrilled that finally he was making some efforts, but she wondered if this was moving too fast. So she said, "May be some other day; today I have lots of work on my hands." "OK, no problem, some other day." "See you around, Ned." "Yeah, see you."

When Lisa met Lily and Rosa during lunch, she narrated the event to them and they asked her why she did not accept the offer for coffee. Rosa was disappointed, "Lisa, you are so dumb. First, you keep complaining that he is not trying to talk to you. But when finally he does, what do you say? You moron!" Lily added, "And, neither of you gave your number. So how the hell are you going to meet 'some other day'?" Lisa was too glad for what had happened that she wanted to savor it before moving forward, and also she wanted to take things slow. So she explained to her friends, "Hey both of you, I know you are concerned for me. But I do not want to rush into things. Plus, I see Ned everyday during lunch, so getting his number is easy. I am sure he will ask me out again very soon. So you gals relax."

After a couple of weeks of seeing each-other everyday at lunch time and not getting beyond very formal hellos, Lisa wondered if she had been over-confident about Ned asking for her number. But she knew she had lost her chance. Though Lily and Rosa urged her to take the talk beyond a hi, she thought she would lose face if she did so. So life became the same old routine again. Lisa told herself that it was not meant to be with Ned; she convinced her heart by telling it that a guy who does not ask a woman out a second time after getting a no the first time, probably was too egotistic. But then, does the heart understand any logic? No matter what Lisa said to herself every day to get Ned out of her head, he would always pop in with some thought or the other. She fantasized about him all the time. There was no escape from the attraction she felt towards Ned.

Finally Lisa got so tired of her confused state of mind that she decided to change her lunch time in order to not run into Ned again. Lily was totally against it. She told her very sternly, "Lisa, there is no point running away from your own feelings. Plus, not seeing Ned is not a solution. This is 21st century and it is OK if a woman makes the first move. You have to talk to him. Why are you torturing yourself?" Rosa, however, wanted Lisa to first realize what her true feelings for Ned were, so she advised her, "I think Lisa, you should do that. You should avoid seeing Ned for few days so that you are clear about what exactly you feel for him. It will clear your head and will give you a better perspective of this relationship. And if after that, you are ready to talk to him, you do that!" Lily tried to argue," Come on gals, what is this? This is not a movie, it is real life. You might not get a second chance." Rosa said, " If you don't, then may be it WAS not meant to be." Lisa closed the argument by saying, "You know what, I have decided. I am not going to see Ned at least for a month. By then, I will know my true feelings for him." So that was that. Lisa did not see him for another month. She avoided any place where there was even a slight chance of running into him.

At the end of the decided period, Lisa still could not take Ned off her mind, though the frequency of her thoughts going to him became less. So she declared to her friends, "Gals, I think I am gradually getting over Ned. So I am going to continue avoiding him for some more time and then, I will be fine." Lily objected again, "Lisa, what is wrong with you? Is this a game? What are you trying to do? Have you thought about the possibility that may be you will never get over Ned totally?" This time, Rosa did not say anything but she was really surprised at her friend's immature attitude. However, Lisa was adamant, "Listen you two, I think it was just infatuation and I will get over it in a few weeks. I think I don't want to fall in love again." Her friends were concerned about her behavior but they had no way to make her see straight. They thought probably she was not over Jack yet, that's why she was being weird. Perhaps, her heart needed more time to mend. So they let her do what she desired.

Sometimes, you don't realize how much you love someone until you see them go away forever. By then, it is too late. Lisa bumped into Ned one day when she was out to watch a movie with her cousins. She saw him with another woman. When she saw him, she wanted to hide somewhere but he was looking at her, so she smiled. He was happy to see her,"Hi Lisa! Long time! Haven't seen you in a while. Where have you been?" "Hi Ned, I have been busy and my boss changed the lunch time for our team since we have a status meeting at 1 p.m. everyday. How are you?" He looked as handsome as ever. "I am good. Hey, this is Maria." He turned to Maria and said, "Maria, this is Lisa. She is a colleague." Lisa was furious at this introduction and was no longer interested in getting insulted, so she just said hi to Maria and excused herself.

But she did not watch the movie, instead, she kept looking around for Ned and Maria. She realized whatever she told anyone, she did have something for Ned and that was not going to end so easy. She knew she could not see him with another woman and she wished she had gone for that coffee with him. But Lily was right; life does not give a second chance sometimes. Lisa had lost her chance, and now Ned was with Maria. Lisa cried for hours that day when she went home. Later, she called her two friends and told them she finally knew her true feelings for Ned, but a little too late.

Life came back to a routine for Lisa. Yet, she missed Ned all the time. She missed those days when just seeing him once in a day made her happy, when bumping into him unexpectedly made her day, when there was no love and hence, no hurt. But most of all, she missed her own laughter. She reminisced about how Lily and Rosa used to playfully tease her all the time, and she used to keep blushing. In those days, she used to pray for just one chance to know Ned and now she prayed to forget him.

It was Valentine's day. Lily and Rosa planned for an outing for the three of them; they wanted to cheer Lisa up. Seeing how much her friends cared for her, she agreed to go out with them in the evening. They had planned to go to this special event being organized by a group of artists. Lisa half-heartedly got ready and reached the venue with her friends. Lisa was surprised to see the party venue to be someone's house. When she walked towards the door, she knew she was walking towards her happiness. Even before the door opened, she knew who would answer it.

Later, over a delicious dinner cooked by Ned, the girls explained to Lisa that seeing Ned with Maria was the part of their plan which they had devised to make Lisa familiar with her feelings. Rosa always knew Lisa liked Ned but she did not want him to be her refuge from Jack. Lily suggested they involve Maria, Ned's cousin, in the plan. Ned explained to Lisa how he had felt really disappointed when she had not taken the offer to go out with him and did not even give him her number. That day, three people - Ned, Lily and Rosa went out for coffee.

Lisa hugged her friends and thanked them for such a wonderful Valentine's celebration. She and Ned talked late into the night, long after her two friends had left the two alone. That evening, a casual cafeteria encounter sowed the seeds for a life-time relationship.

Endless Wait

I have been waiting for this day for last 3 months, or last 15 years. Nisha is my first and the only love whom I could not marry. And, I decided that I would never marry. We had stopped talking since then but a few months back, Nisha wrote to me telling me that she was coming to my city and would love to see me. I am standing at the airport to receive her.

My heart is racing so hard, I am sure everyone can hear it. I feel the same trepidation I used to experience seeing her enter the class every day at college. I have imagined this moment hundreds of times since the day I came to know I would see Nisha once again, a hope I had lost years ago. Dreams do come true.

My heart skips a beat every time I see a passenger emerge from the exit, and I am disappointed every time. I am losing my patience, the flight was supposed to land half an hour ago. Weird thoughts are crossing my mind; I am engulfed in a fear. Is Nisha alright? Is destiny playing yet another game with me?

There is a chaos at the arrival terminal. I see security personnel trying to calm the crowd down. I approach a gentleman standing near the exit and ask him what the matter is. The TV screen inside the terminal catches my attention, and my whole world collapses in a second. For world, it is a crash of a plane carrying a couple hundred passengers; for me it is like crumpling of a lifetime of hopes. I do not know how long I stood there, but I come back to my senses when someone touches my shoulder. I turn around to see a woman standing there, and asking me to gather myself. She simply says, “Son, I will pray for you.”

I think I am crying. I have been trying to hold the tears for years and now, I can’t anymore. I cannot imagine life took Nisha away from me, a second time. I am one of those who are never meant to be happy. Perhaps I am just unfortunate; I always have been.

With heavy legs, I walk away from the airport. I get into my car, and I drive back home. I feel nothing as if my mind is frozen, incapable of feeling any pain. I don’t know when I reach home. I don’t want to get out of the car.

Then, I see her. It is Nisha! But how is this possible? She comes running to me, hugs me and says, “Faiz, where have you been? I have been waiting for two hours. You know, I wanted to surprise you, so I took the first flight to here!” I hug her tight, never to let her go.

Nemesis

She has been with me for last 3 years. She follows me wherever I go. It started on that day when I had visited her for the last time to convince her of my love and innocence.

I had gone here to talk to her, to plead her to come back to me. I had been trying to get back with her for several months. I had been begging her, following her everywhere, trying to reason with her. I had apologized many times, but she never gave me a second chance. I knew she was stubborn from the first day I met her. She was a strong-willed woman of principles. That was why I had been attracted to her.

For the 6 years I had known her, I saw her stand against anything that was not right, especially against women. I think it has something to do with her childhood. Though she never told me, but I heard from one of her friends that she had been abused in the orphanage where she was brought up. The constant harassment at the hands of her caretaker had made her resolve that she would do everything she could, to save other women from such misfortune. And she did.

I am also a sensitive person, and had been fighting cases for poor women. I belong to a rich family, so I could afford to look beyond the daily struggles of breadwinning. I chose a noble path, and during one such case, I had met her.

Everything changed 3 years and 8 months earlier, when a female colleague accused me of sexual harassment and took the case to her. I was innocent and was framed to stop me from fighting a high profile case against a minister. But, no one believed me. Not even her. I thought she would understand, but then my ‘victim’ had produced genuine looking ‘proofs’. I lost the case and my career was ruined. Everything went against me, and I would not have cared had she been on my side.

Yet, that I had visited her to talk to her, but as usual she had refused to listen. I literally went down on my knees but she did not listen. She even tried to attack me with a vase, which I tried to grab from her hand and in the struggle, hit her on her head. I killed her. She lied in a pool of blood, lifeless. I sat there shocked at how 15 minutes had changed my life, forever.

I looked at her and decided to turn myself in. But there she was, standing near her dead body and staring at me. I fell back with a jolt, and she laughed. She then said, “You wanted me to be with you. I am always with you now.”

Naya Ehsaas

Aaj hai ek naya ehsaas
Kuch ankahe ansune se khwab
Itraati hui subah ke saath
Mere mann ne kiya ek aaghaaz

Tumhare liye manzilein chunein
Tumhare saath khwab bunein
Is suhaane safar mein saath chalein
Apne liye hi saare raaste sajein

Jaanam hum har bhawna yun jagayein
Aashaon ke taraane sajayein
Sukh dukh ke fasaane sunayein
Zindagi tere saath khoobsurat banayein

Humsafar mere, mera jeena tumse hai
Meri saanson ka chalne tumse hai
Mere hothon pe muskaan tumse hai
Mera saara jahan tumse hai

Tumhara saath hi ek tamanna
Tumhara pyaar hi ek kaamna
Tumhare liye hi jeena marna
Aur is jeewan mein kya karna?

You

You taught me to love myself

You helped me find happiness

You loved me as no one

You loved me despite what I am

Then, why did you go away

Why did you not let me stay

And comfort you on a bad day

I wanted to wipe your tears

I wished I could be there

I dreamed us together forever

But you turned it into never

Why did you not let me share

Your burdens, your worries, your care

Without you, life wasn’t fair

I promise to make it up now, if you say

I will hold your hand and lead the way

I will stand with you every moment of everyday

I won’t let anything get in the way

Please come back to me darling

Together, we’ll make a new beginning

Asar

Yeh mausam ka hai asar ya tumhara
Muskurane ka dil karta hai
Bewajah hi gungunane ka dil karta hai

Mujhe laga main hoon tanha
Tumne aake saara gam bhula diya
Phir zindagi ko rangeen bana diya

Kho gaye tum toh laga sab kho gaya
Par ab phir se woh sama laut aaya
Itne barson baad dikha apna saaya

Dil bachkaani harkat karta hai
Har samay yun machalta hai
Bewajah hi gungunane ka dil karta hai

Beyond deceptions

Meghna had been feeling something not being right for last one year. Little did she know that when she came to know what it was, she would wish she had never known it.

It all started when her brother-in-law, who was living in a different city, got married. Till then, Meghna's married life was what many would say normal. Normal because majority of married couples in India stayed together just for the sake of it, long past love was lost between them. All interaction Meghna and Anil had between them was about grocery needs, and their daughter's visit to the doctor, when she was ill. Apart from this, they lead their own lives - he was busy with work; she, with taking care of 2 year old Anu. But then, it all changed.

After his brother, Uday, got married, Anil became more caring and giving towards Meghna. He tried to help her around the house, they started going out every weekend, and they even went on a holiday with his family about 6 months back. Meghna was happy, yet skeptical. She did not understand why Anil and his family's behavior towards her became good so suddenly. She had always been criticized and insulted in this family, what was the reason that brought this change in them? Sometimes, she thought maybe Anil had learnt something from his brother who was very caring towards his own wife, Sonia. But she did not quite comprehend how someone living hundreds of miles away could have so much influence over Anil's behavior. But then, hadn't her mother-in-law been having that kind of influence over him since day one of their marriage? Hadn't the old lady determined every move Anil made, every decision he took, and every breath he inhaled? Perhaps now the influence had become positive. Meghna pondered over this question for a few weeks. Then, she shrugged the thought off telling herself she was being paranoid and that she should enjoy the goodness in life.

It was the Anu's 3rd birthday when she finally found the answer to the question. Anil invited his family for the occasion. Meghna was putting icing on the birthday cake she had prepared, when they all arrived. Meghna was so shocked to see Sonia that she almost dropped the cake; Sonia was pregnant and good 5 months pregnant! And, no one had even mentioned that to Meghna! Her first reaction was that this family had not changed at all. They were just pretending to be good to her. Then, she asked Anil what was the matter and he said even he did not know about the pregnancy. How come he did not feel shocked or offended about not being told? When her mother-in-law and Anil talked about every small thing in their lives, how come he did not know? Meghna knew that was simply not possible. It must be something else. She did not want to spoil Anu's birthday celebration, so she did not talk to anyone about this that evening. She soon got lost in her daughter's joy in being the 'celebrity' of the day. How lovely Anu looked that day!

After the celebration, in the week that her in-laws stayed with them, Meghna sensed something between Anil and Sonia. She was not a suspicious person, but the way they both behaved around each-other was weird, and too close for that kind of relation. And Meghna found out soon what it was. Just before the in-laws were leaving, she overheard Sonia and Uday arguing, and Uday said, "Why don't you stay with the baby's father. I am tired of pretending!" Meghna was shocked to hear this and did not believe her ears. But then, she confronted Uday. She never thought that life could throw such a shock at her. Uday told her that the child Sonia was carrying was actually Anil's. Uday was impotent and had agreed to get married to keep up the pretenses in society and Anil and Sonia were college sweethearts.

Meghna did not know what to make out of all this and was too shocked to react to anything that anyone said after that. She felt she was moving in a dream, a nightmare, and had completely lost all her senses. She performed her duties, said goodbyes as if she was a robot and all this had been programmed into her memory. Even after they had left, she could not believe all that was really happening. She thought she would wake up from this nightmare any moment. Though she did wake up, but the reality was stranger than dream. She came back to her senses when she spent a whole sleepless night and almost fainted from fatigue the next day while dropping Anu to school. It was then she decided that it was time Anil answered some questions.

When Meghna reached home, Anil was ready to leave for office, but Meghna told him she wanted to talk to him. He stayed to listen to her. So she asked him what relation he had with Sonia and her child. At first, he lied. But when she told him that Uday had already told her the truth, Anil confessed but added, "Meghna, you must realize I did it for my family." Meghna was even more petrified. She said, "Anil, you knew Sonia in college. You planned all this. Now, you do not have any shame in your eyes or any feeling of guilt in your heart and you expect me to think of you as a great and sacrificing person?" Then she added, " I am sorry Anil but I really need to think about us now. This is too much for me to understand." Anil left the house without saying anything. He thought Meghna could never leave him. After all, she had Anu to take care of.

Meghna pondered over the same thing the whole day. She knew life would be tough if she got divorced. She kept on thinking what was right for Anu. She knew Anu's life would be even tougher. In the end, she decided to leave. And she told Anil of her decision as soon as he returned from work. It was his turn to be shocked now and he tried to discourage her by telling her how difficult a divorced woman's life is in India and that having Anu would make things worse. Meghna replied disgustingly, "So you do not even wish to keep your daughter with you? Anyway, I did not plan to leave her with you, and now I do not even regret leaving you. My life will be tough, I know. But at least, it would be mine." And she went inside to pack and leave.

Meghna looked back at her house for the last time and thought she would miss it more than she would miss the life she had between those walls. She held Anu's hand and began the journey towards peace and happiness.